Why I Come Back

I write this as my plane lifts off the runway, leaving familiar and solid ground below. I don’t feel ready to end my stay in Minnesota or leave the comfort of home. When you live abroad as we do, holidays at home are precious fountains of love and familiarity; a wellspring of life. I could have stayed another week or two easily-- drinking in this gift and investing in relationships I am physically removed from in Denmark.

I text John anxiously about Camp Ultimate Peace where we will meet in a few days. Though this is our fifth year I feel nervous. Camp Ultimate Peace provides many things: growth, connection, new possibilities, fun, a unique and safe haven for kids to be kids, and a place where people are their best selves. But it is not a comfortable place. Rather it’s a space of transformation where people must move outside their comfort zone. If I want to be a catalyst for new possibilities, new connections, new relationships while fostering empathy and genuine respect among the diverse participants at camp, then I must gather my courage. I’m called to lead by example.  I must be ready to be brave. 

“Is it worth it to go back?” I ask John in my text. This year John will be leading logistics and operations at the camp for all our supplies, and I will be coaching a young adult boys’ team. As a coach I will be responsible for more than ensuring the kids learn Ultimate Frisbee.  I must also help them engage with people who are very different from them— with people who have literally grown up on the opposite side of a formidable fence. I must guide these individuals to identify as a team and behave with respect and civility toward one another. Our team will be a mix of different regional, socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds from all over Israel.

“We always wonder that,” John replies. This year I feel the resource strain more than usual: the fundraising, the time, the logistics and the mindshare required.  They have taken a toll. I feel I am slingshotting with velocity from that which is most familiar to the leading edge of the vast unknown. Here we go, ready or not.

“…but it’s always worth it,” John finishes, and I know he is right. Many who have experienced summer camp remember the magic of it. Summer camp is an isolated universe with different rules where fun and play prevail. It promises enchanting and enriching experiences with opportunities to take risks and participate fully. Permission is granted to be goofy.  Best of all, there are abundant feelings of belonging, camaraderie and being a part of something bigger than oneself. We 100 odd volunteers come into Israel and create for two weeks a Narnia for all who enter, and it’s impossible to depart unchanged.

Last year I remember laying under the shade of an Acacia tree the morning after all the campers left. There was stillness following an intense time of 14-hour days in the heat, investing and investing in these kids. I rejoiced in the game-winning score between an Israeli and Arabic player on my team.  I recalled the boy who arrived as a bully but departed by apologizing, on the last day, to his teammates. I felt joy remembering the many grins on kids’ faces after each found the courage to participate fully in camp activities.

At that moment under the Acacia tree I had a torn ACL, was on crutches and was bone tired. I had poured out my cup in hopes that others would drink. But in that moment I was also breathless. Alive. Satisfied. It was a grand, grounding moment. I had awoken from a long sleep and knew again what was authentically important. My empty cup had been filled with the best of things: peace, purpose and deep fulfillment.

I keep coming back because it is a privilege to serve at Ultimate Peace and a privilege to pour into others and be filled once again by the beauty of life and a healthy community. Our sacrifice is an investment in others, in the region, in what’s possible for the future-- and in the end, it’s an investment also in ourselves. Here we reap the rich rewards of life lived fully. Here we sing of a future where people live well and do well by one another, distinct from the age-old conversations of struggle and strife in the region. Here we strengthen our muscle to love and discover ways we can bring this expanded capacity to our local communities back home.

We would be crazy not to come back. Thinking about it now, there is no place I’d rather be heading.

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